chekhov:

So this hot substitute logged into netflix and I wrote down the email with which he did it and used a service (it cost like $2) to find all other accounts connected to that email and I found his (private) twitter so I made a fake twitter of a hot girl and added a bunch of tweets over the course of a month to make it look legit and then I requested to follow him and he let me and he is the most goddamn boring person in the world

stealinyoman:

marry a guy who has sisters because he’s seen the female in her natural state therefore won’t have any unrealistic expectations of you 

(Fonte: niqabisinparis)

msjewbooty:

[first date voice] so tell me about your weather hobbies. fuck i mean, tell me the weather. no that’s not what i meant i was trying to say what are your hobbies. wonderful weather we’re hobbing. having. fuck

,,

i have a question

A Girl That’s Getting Ready To Expose Your Shit (via xxlastking)